Tap Gun

The development blawgh of Önders et Gonas

Monthly Archives: November 2008

iPhone Tech Talk in Stockholm

I’m heading east (not unlike a drunk goldrush digger) to Stockholm next weekend to participate in the iPhone Tech Talk at KTH 8 December. Are you going too? Let’s meet up for strong alcohol and hard core networking. I will bring Top Gun on DVD, so if anybody knows a good bar with power outlets please drop a line in the comments!

Past and Future

Oh man. With this post I’m going to kill some of the mystery. But it’s important to set the right expectations so for once I’m going to blog sober. What’s happening with Önders et Gonas?

Status Update

Jonas is stuck in southern France until mid-December, sipping rosé wine mixed with Fanta on the riviera. He’s writing a thesis, the final step on a long journey turning a boy into a man. Yes, Jonas is slowly becoming a working cog in the machinery of soulcrushing.

Anders is an independent consultant, doing some work here and there in order to pay the bills. I’ve been between projects for a few weeks but the next client project starts tomorrow. I have begun coding on the very anticipated ÖeG application codenamed Project Mustang but it’s unclear when it will be ready for release.

Teh plan

In Maslow’s hierarchy of needs you’d say we’re both crawling around on the two bottom levels (getting food, shelter and lots of sex). But, just like in Super Mario Bros 3, we’ve found a magic flute and are about to warp to the highest level (self-actualization). Come 2009, we’re building a wardrobe. A wardrobe with a whiteboard and beautifully designed computers where magic will happen. So our iPhone Killer App Development will not be going full-throttle until January.

Riches & Bitches

Some of you may think, what the fuck, these guys are on crack. And maybe we are? Regardless, how are we going to get stinking rich by creating useless applications selling for $0.99 on the frigging App Store? Well, we have been giving it a lot of thought. Mostly Jonas since he’s got a solid background in business. So we’ve found a lot of material around the intertubes that suggests that with some genious ideas and inspired execution, it’s possible.

Additionally, most of our planned applications are not useless. In fact, some wise man once said that the easiest way to charge people for your app is by showing them that they will save money using it. That way the puchase becomes a no-brainer. Spend X now, save X+Y later. Some of our apps are indeed designed to save money in different ways, mostly because we ourselves are cheap fucks and we know we’d use them. This in turn makes it possible to charge more than the established App Store lowest price of 99 cents (that’s 7 SEK in the Swedish App Store for our local readers).

We’ll continue to post about our big adventure but don’t expect any hot apps just yet. So keep checking the blaawgh and follow us on Twitter!

Office Space

We are currently on the look out for some premium office space in central Gothenburg. Preferably a large residential house with room for at least four people. We need somewhere to code our apps, brew our beer, hang our whiteboard, throw our wikkid release bashes, and similar activities. And somewhere to wake up with a pounding head to the sound of your wingman’s fingers caressing the keyboard, arousing Xcode into producing beautiful pixels of perfect interface. If you’re aware of someone who is subletting a house or large apartment in Gothenburg please drop a line in the comments. Peace sisters.

It’s Thursday, let’s get political

Yeah, you know the saying “Once the first can is opened, politics and all that shit goes out the window”. But unfortunately I’m sober so today I will politicize your face until it’s red. I may live in a secluded country with no free media, pop culture and fun, but thanks to the wonderful world wide web (wwww) I have been able to follow the uproar among Swedish bloggers (but honestly, who the fuck cares what teenage pimple farms has to say about anything?) concerning the IPRED law.

For all y’all that have no idea about what this IPRED thingy is, it’s basically a law that makes it easier for the big bad wolf to find the maladjusted Robin Hood wannabe wanker that is downloading non-pornographic content from the Internet. And since the passing of this law is up for voting in the Swedish Riksdagen sometime soon, a heated debate about file sharing and other “not even close to being important enough to dedicate your life to” topics have invaded online newspapers and bulletin bullshit boards (seriously, why can’t you get a job as a toilet cleaner in the diarrheic ward instead of spamming the web with nonsense? The web is for porn, period).

Since the topic is slightly technical and you can do it with your phone, I thought it would be a good idea to clarify what ÖeG thinks about the issue of file sharing. Many retards who have studied twelve weeks of copyright and patent law make demented arguments that wouldn’t even convince a German in recession, but that will take you a long way when you’re up against capitalist scum fucks from the entertainment industry when you post them on the web. The point isn’t that it’s only information that is copied, not the actual work and neither it is that you are stealing someone’s precious work, made out of the artists sweat and the blood of its relatives. No, you have to think of it as a ball.

An ordinary ball the size of a water melon. What can you do with a ball? Well, you can throw it at people. Yeah, That’s easy. Is it the guy getting the ball in his heads’ fault that you are throwing the ball? Well, sorta. The receiver has a choice, or actually numerous choices. He can catch the ball with his hands, turning it into basketball. He can use his head to control the ball and then catch it with his right foot, turning it into soccer. He may also take the ball, deflate it with his knife and proceed to the thrower to kick his ass. But is that really the best way? What if there are tens of thousands of muscular guys with balls, should you kick the soggy haemorrhoids out of each one? Nah, why bother.

Sooo, girls and commies, time for an update!

You may wonder why, despite that the blog has been up and running for more than a week, no juice has been squeezed out of our wonderful closet. The answer is as simple to say as it is to write: we are doing some ass whooping and cutting edge programming for other companies, but soon dear friends there will come some excellent shit.

Even though we’re not neck deep in cocoa flavored milk, we are doing some hardcore brain storming, pushing the limits of the mind and ensuring that our products will make your post-LHC experience much less dystopic. The development of Mustang is well under way and soon we will rss-feed your ass with another big announcement. But until then I hope that you follow our tweets, cause even if you are just slightly mentally challenged there are some hints dropped there like an American f-bomb every bloody day.

Currently we are dislocated, me kicking the froggies in France and Anders trying to survive the crisis in Göteborg, but next month (December for you guys who read this before it was written or just googling around and finding an old post) there will be an awesome event with hugs, kisses and some wet horse blankets. Of course it will be an open event but BYOBFFS and try to dance the safety dance only. Oh yeah, remember to put a cap on that one-eyed alien. So to wrap it up, this was just me post whoring. 4-1 baby!

Double the Bastard. Bastard the Double.

When Jonas returns from France we’re gonna drink these suckers.

Önders/Gonas ’10

Champagne Monday

Workstation and champagne flûte
Workstation and champagne flûte

Xcode and the widow, fuck yeah!